Trying to Find Jesus

Yesterday morning a friend sent me an email titled "Nice little good morning to me" with the below attached.

Seriously? Who sends crap like this at 12:57 AM to a girl who has never messaged him? And for the record, she is definitely not "fugly". What kind of a guy would intentionally try to upset a girl like that? Well, I was going to find out.


What's in a name?

I decided to engage the guy and see if I could figure out what his deal was. And maybe mess with him a little too :) He claimed to be a swimmer. That should be an easy in for me since my profile talks a bunch about swimming.

So you say you're a swimmer? Tell me more ;)

Bingo. He wrote back.

You shouldn't like guys like me...reevaluate your priorities.

This guy was a piece of work. But he was right. I shouldn't, and don't, like guys who send nasty messages to girls in the middle of the night. I replied -

I never said that I did like you. I only commented on your username.

Who do you think you are? God?

I suspected that this would get him going, and it did.

lol...burn. you like my pretty face. but guys that look like me won't settle down, they will use and move on. you'll never tame me. 

you seem nice, but will constantly date douche bags like me if you go for my kind of face. I say this because i'm feeling extra kind today.

best of luck. marry a geek and he will worship and adore you. or always aim to find a legend like me who will walk into any room and have any girl...

What was this guy's issue?! Did he have a god complex? Jeeeez. You're feeling extra kind today? Must be my lucky day then! Something wasn't really adding up though...

For someone with those kinds of super powers, a dating site seems like a lot of effort. Why bother? You could just walk into a bar and take home any girl you want. Why spend energy replying to online messages?

He told me he was "trying to find jesus ;)". Really? You're not doing such a good job at that, buddy.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a profile

I got a "haha" back to that one. The legend himself thought I was funny. Go me. I asked what he was planning to find if he wasn't going to be able to find Jesus.

social experiment actually... 

a friend of mine is on here, and he thinks my looks will attract all and even tho he looks good, he isn't quite a model like me. 

I think it is funny how I have a ridiculous profile, practically an asshole. and yet I get more replies and messages than he does because of my face. 

he is actually a better person, equally good looking enough in my opinion, and has a solid profile. yet, no dice. 

shallowness...simple conclusion. girls say they want to find that one great guy, but they all go for douche bags and assholes. 

so online or in person, girls are same. go for douche.

Who's your friend?

Social experiment you say? I know a little about those. This reply sounded a little fishy. I don't know too many guys who are like this guy was claiming to be who would waste their time doing this. (And I do know those guys. I've dated quite a few of them. If you're reading this, you know who are you.) Those guys are either out at the bar or picking off the hot, insecure girls from these sites. They're not sending insults in the middle of the night. And they certainly don't say that their less attractive friends are better people.

So iSwimmer, you never answered my original question. Are you actually a swimmer or is this part of the experiment?

His response started with "lol". <eye roll> He said he tried to match his friend's profile like for like except for the photos. This was blatantly untrue because his profile was barely filled out and he hadn't answered any questions. If his "friend" were less attractive and had a profile like this, that explained why he wasn't getting any attention.

I asked for his friend's username and said I was curious. I saw that he read the message but didn't respond. So I wrote him again -

Aw you're not going to tell me. That's no fun​

He read that message as well, but as of this morning, the account had been deactivated. I think we won this battle. My hypothesis is that there was no friend. Some loser guy created a fake profile with an attractive photo and was sending nasty messages to beautiful women because he was bitter that none of them like him. Hopefully the guy didn't just create another profile. If you know the guy in this photo, let him know some jerk is using his photos to create fake OKC profiles.


In other news...

According to match.com, I'm having a good week! Woooooo!

Too bad only about 5 of them were worth responding to.